Sadly, Jim and Margo’s relationship was over. But now Margo has decided that she wants Jim back. The thing Margo needs to do is ask herself: “Am I sure I want Jim back? Or do I just want someone special in my life?”
When Margo talked to me about this, I was particularly concerned. Why? Because Margo was the one who initiated the break up. What had changed?
Almost every relationship goes through bad times. After all, relationships are about being there for each other through the good times and the bad. Not all marriages are equal. Problems that are survived by the strongest couples may, unfortunately, tear apart partnerships that are not so well grounded.
When is it time to try to repair the relationship? And when is it time to move on?
The Story of Jim and Margo
When Jim and Margo made a decision to share their lives together, it was a huge commitment. Questions like where they would live, if they would have children, and if they both would pursue careers, were never considered in the excitement of their early sexual attraction for one another.
“Why did you break up in the first place?” I asked Margo.
She told me it was because she wanted to have children, but Jim didn’t.
“What has changed?” I asked her.
Sadly, Margo had to admit that nothing had changed. She just wanted to somehow “work it out.”
“If one partner wants children and the other doesn’t, it is a huge problem.” I told Margo. “One partner forcing their will on the other will not result in long term happiness.”
Since they are currently divorced, Margo finally decided it wouldn’t make sense for them to get back together because this huge difference still exists between them. She does not want to go through her entire life without having children, and Jim is adamant about remaining childless.
When Problems Can be Worked Out
On the other hand, I have seen many couples break up over petty incidents that were blown way out of proportion. When that happens, the relationship may well be worth saving.
In situations like these, it takes one of the couple to initiate a discussion. The discussion should be about the possibility of rekindling a relationship, not about placing blame or old hurts.
If you have a mutual desire to get back together, then counseling would provide a good place to work out all these old problems. An impartial third person who is professionally trained can help you tremendously.
If you realize your problems are not insurmountable and you miss your ex partner and want to be with him/her for the rest of your life, then you must take positive steps to win back your ex.
The Two Important Questions:
1, Are You Sure You Want Your Ex Back?
Many couples have been able to reunite by following practical guidelines like those mentioned here. These guidelines are based on information found at http://repairtherelationship.info